3 Mistakes Busy Students Make--and How To Fix Them

There are three mistakes that I see students making, especially busy, high-achieving students, that they may not realize can sabotage their own success.

In this post, I want to present these three not-so-obvious mistakes that you might be making so that you can be aware of them and not allow these to sabotage your success as a student.

Now, before I present the first mistake, I just want to say that we adults also are guilty of committing these mistakes. It's not beyond us. And so I speak from a person who can identify and relate to these mistakes because I commit them too.

Mistake 1: Living Reactively Instead of Proactively

The first mistake that students can make, as well as adults, is to live from a reactive position instead of a proactive position.

One of the most helpful ways for me to understand the difference between a reactive position and a proactive position is to use the sports analogy of defense versus offense.

I'm no sports expert, but if you think about soccer, the defensive positions—left back, right back, center back—their job is to hang back and to react to the ball if it comes close to their goal. It's not to let the ball get past you into your goal. And the offensive positions are the forwards, right? They're the ones that are actually taking the big shots in trying to score the goal. They're the ones making headway down the field toward the other team's goal.

That's a maybe oversimplified way to understand living from a reactive defensive position or living life from a proactive offensive position. Along those lines, there's a principle—it's actually a principle of war—that says, "The best defense is a good offense."

That means that the most effective way to win, to succeed, to score, is not to wait passively until a threat materializes against you but to attack first, to take initiative, and to actively gain ground against the opponent.

How This Applies to Student Life

How does this translate to student life for you, a student who is trying to lead yourself well? It's possible to fill all day every day with tasks that are already on your plate, things you already have to do, and you are just reacting to the Math problems that need to be done, the test that needs to be taken tomorrow, and the homework assignment that's due on Friday. Most of us will get to the end of a busy day and call it good if you got through the day.

I'm not going to say that getting through the day is not successful because it is, but as leaders, we push ourselves to not just get through the day but to foresee and to prepare for what is coming up tomorrow, by this Friday, next week, the next-next week. Leaders think ahead; they are proactive, not always reactive.

So that looks like applying to summer programs in December, thinking about what you want to put on your college application, and then making that happen now, this school year, so that you will be able to tell the story in two years when you're actually sitting down and filling out that application. It's thinking about, "What kind of relationship do I want with my parents when I'm away at college?" and then living that reality today. If I want to be calling my mom every other day in college, well, that means I should have a pretty close relationship with my mom now. Well, what do I need to do now so that when I leave for college, I will have that kind of relationship?

Most people are not functioning this way. Most students are just trying to get through the day. They're reacting to the things that have already been put on them. They are not taking initiatives to build the life that they want and to create the experiences that they want. That's a leadership skill. That's not easy.

This is what it means not to work in your life to just get through the day, but to work on your life, to take a step back every so often and ask yourself, "Are my days filled with the kinds of activities, classes, relationships, and faith that I actually want in my future?" If not, well, what do I need to change? How do I stop just reacting to what I already am committed to and what is already required of me? And how do I now proactively create new experiences, new opportunities, and build the doors that I want to open one day?

These are the kinds of questions that I ask the students that I work with. These are leadership questions. They are personal development questions that keep you aligned with what exactly you are here to do. Why am I working so hard? What is all this for? If you can continually and regularly stay in touch with your why, that tremendously motivates your days.

It puts meaning and purpose behind the classes that you're stressing over, the sports that you're committed to, the music practice, the competitions that you endure—all of those little pieces, all of those trees, have a place in your forest. And that is a great feeling.

The Four Areas of Life

If you're listening to this and you like the idea of living from a proactive position instead of a reactive position, there are four areas of life you should ask yourself about: body, brain, heart, and soul.

Let me just walk you through those four areas real quick...

Body: Your physical health. What proactive initiatives do I need to take in my physical health to have the kind of health that I want for myself? Do I need to fix my diet? Do I need to drink more water? Do I need to drink less energy drinks and less soda? Do I need to sleep more? Do I need to get up earlier so that I don't waste my Saturday mornings? Do I need to fix my physical activity? Maybe I'm not active enough.

Brain: Your intellect, your academics, your learnings. How do I need to proactively create opportunities for me to take the kinds of classes that I'm interested in? How do I find a mentor in the medical field? If I want to go into the medical field, how do I find a mentor in the engineering field, the law field, the business field, or whatever it is that I am interested in pursuing if I already know? How can I grow my academic intellectual knowledge in that area now instead of waiting until I get to college and I'm forced to pick a major?

Heart: Your relationships. Who do I need to strengthen relationships with? Mom, dad, brother, sister, auntie, uncle, grandma? Who do I need to invest in right now so that I will keep my connection with these people, these friends, these family members later?

Soul: Your spiritual life. I want to say that your spiritual life is just as important, if not more important, than your physical health. We tend to think that spiritual life is a bonus. If I have time, I'll go to youth group. If I have energy, I'll wake up and go to church. If I feel like it, I will have a quiet time with the Lord. Guys, you are a spiritual being. Your spirit will live long after your body goes into the ground and decays.

Mistake 2: Managing Life Instead of Managing Yourself

The second mistake students make is trying to manage their life instead of managing themselves.

What do I mean by that? When you try to manage your life, you're thinking about schedules, to-do lists, assignments, exams, activities, and all the external demands placed on you. You're focusing on the things you need to juggle and keep track of, which can quickly become overwhelming.

But here's the thing: you can't always control life, but you can control yourself. Managing yourself means focusing on your habits, routines, attitude, and energy. It’s about understanding how to show up for your responsibilities in the best way possible, no matter how chaotic life feels.

For example, if you're constantly tired, it might not be because your schedule is too full—it could be because you're not managing your sleep or eating habits. If you're always stressed about deadlines, it could be because you’re procrastinating or not prioritizing effectively. These are things within your control.

By managing yourself well, you’ll find that managing life becomes a lot easier. You’ll have the clarity and capacity to handle everything that comes your way without feeling like you’re drowning.

Mistake 3: Failing to Act on Good Intentions

The third and final mistake is failing to act on good intentions.

The truth is, most people have good intentions. They want to succeed, grow, and improve. Students I’ve worked with often say they want to manage their time better, strengthen their faith, or deepen their connections with friends. They say they want straight A's, to win a competition, or to earn scholarships for college. These are all admirable goals and intentions. The problem is, they stop at intentions.

The disconnect comes when actions don’t align with these desires. Saying you want something is one thing, but failing to take actionable steps toward it means that those intentions will remain unfulfilled. Good intentions without follow-through don’t create results—they create frustration and stagnation.

Think about this in your own life: how often do you talk about what you want but fail to actually make progress? Maybe you’ve been telling yourself that you want to improve your grades or strengthen a particular relationship, but month after month, nothing changes. That’s because good intentions need to be paired with deliberate, consistent action.

One of the benefits of working with students over the course of several months is that I get to see patterns emerge. I encourage students to regularly check in with themselves and ask, “What did I say I wanted to accomplish last month? Did I make progress, or am I still in the same place?”

Some students take healthy risks and move toward their goals. They try out for a new sport, audition for a play, or take a class outside their comfort zone. They meet new friends or attend a school event they weren’t sure about. These students grow because they act. They turn their good intentions into tangible steps, which leads to new opportunities and personal development.

But other students stay stuck in a cycle of inaction. They continue saying they want to change, but they don’t do anything differently. They hold onto the same habits, the same attitudes, and the same perspectives, month after month, expecting something to magically shift. Unfortunately, it doesn’t. Progress requires action.

This is where self-management comes into play. As we discussed in Mistake #2, managing your life is really about managing yourself. If you want to see results, you have to actively take responsibility for turning your good intentions into reality. This means stepping out of your comfort zone, taking risks, and sometimes doing things that feel hard or uncomfortable.

Ask yourself: Are you guilty of repeating the same intentions without following through? Do you keep saying, “I want to manage my time better,” or “I want to improve my relationships,” without actually changing your daily behaviors? If so, it’s time to break the cycle.

One of the simplest ways to start is by identifying one specific intention and breaking it down into actionable steps. For example, if you want to strengthen your faith, commit to a small, consistent habit like a daily quiet time with God. If you want to improve your grades, set aside focused study blocks each day. Start small, but start.

The students who thrive are the ones who take ownership of their lives. They don’t wait for opportunities to come to them—they create those opportunities through proactive choices and consistent effort. Remember, success isn’t about having perfect intentions; it’s about turning those intentions into actions that align with your goals.

Conclusion

To recap, the three mistakes that students often make are:

1. Living reactively instead of proactively.
2. Managing life instead of managing themselves.
3. Failing to act on good intentions.

If you can avoid these mistakes, you’ll set yourself up for long-term success—not just as a student, but as a leader and as a person.

These principles apply not only to your academic life but also to your relationships, your spiritual growth, and your personal development. Start small, stay consistent, and trust the process. You’ve got this!