How to Enjoy Valentine's Day--without a valentine!

If you’re single and feeling a little awkward because Valentine’s Day is traditionally about celebrating romantic love, I want you to know—I see you. It’s normal to feel this way.

Instead of letting this day pass with feelings of loneliness or frustration, you can choose to use Valentine’s Day proactively to grow in love! In fact, you can even use the holiday to bless your future partner—whoever and wherever he or she may be—before you even meet!

A College Valentine's Day Story

Let me take you back to my sophomore year in college. My roommates and I were in our apartment on campus on Valentine’s Day, and it felt a little awkward. We all desired that special romantic connection, but that wasn’t what God had given us that year. We were all single.

So, we came up with an idea—we decided to use Valentine’s Day for what it was intended for by making Valentine's cards for our hypothetical future boyfriends. Picture this: we were sitting on the floor of our apartment, cutting construction paper into heart shapes, writing heartfelt notes with Crayola markers (yes, we still had those in college!), and using fancy scissors to create scalloped and zigzag edges.

I remember the card I made—it had a die-cut heart in the front, a slot that would one day hold a photo of me and my future boyfriend, hopefully my future spouse. Do I know what happened to that card? No. Did I ever give it to him? No. Have I even told my husband that I made that card for him back in college? I don’t think so—but I will this year!

Valentine’s Day Is Still for You

The point is this: just because you are single does not mean Valentine’s Day is irrelevant to you. And it certainly isn’t an excuse to throw yourself a pity party or to question God about what He’s doing in your romantic life. Instead, I want to propose two ways you can use Valentine’s Day productively—to grow spiritually, emotionally, and in preparation for the love God may have planned for you.

Trusting in God’s Timing

Some of you might be wondering, “How do I even know if God is preparing someone for me? What if I’m going to be single forever?” While I won’t be addressing this fully in this video, I will say this: if you have a desire for a life partner and are praying for it, chances are that it is part of God’s plan for you. It’s a matter of waiting and preparing.

For the sake of this article, let’s operate on the assumption that God has someone for you. But that doesn’t mean you should just sit back and wait passively. The people who follow me on this channel are leaders. Leaders do not sit back and chill—they use every opportunity to grow, to become better, and to be productive.

How to Lead Yourself During Valentine’s Season

1. Pray for Your Future Spouse (and for Yourself!)

One of the most proactive things you can do is pray for your future spouse. Even though you don’t know them yet, you can still be a blessing to them. That’s the beauty of prayer—it allows you to be involved in someone’s life even if you’re not physically present with them.

For example, you can personalize a passage of scripture and pray it over your future spouse. Psalm 23 is one of my favorites, and you can adapt it like this:

"The Lord is your shepherd, wherever you are. You shall not be in want. He makes you lie down in green pastures; He leads you beside quiet waters. He restores your soul. God guides you in paths of righteousness for His name’s sake. Even though you walk through the shadow of death, you will fear no evil, for God is with you; His rod and His staff, they comfort you. God prepares a table before you in the presence of your enemies. He anoints your head with oil; your cup overflows. Surely goodness and love will follow you all the days of your life, snd you will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.” 

Just by doing this, you are actively exercising faith—believing that there is someone on the other side of your prayers, even if you haven’t met them yet.

You should also pray for yourself in this season of waiting. Here are some key areas to focus on:

Pray for Protection

"Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the Lord, 'He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.'  Surely he will save you from the fowler’s snare and from the deadly pestilence. He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge." -Psalm 91:1-4

Pray for Purity

"Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things." - Philippians 4:8

Pray for Patience

"Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, and faithful in prayer.” - Romans 12:12

"But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience.” - Romans 8:25

Pray for Peace

"Peace I leave with you, my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled, and do not be afraid.” -John 14:27

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” -Philippians 4:6-7

By using this time to pray, you are choosing to become the kind of person worth pursuing. You must become the person you hope to attract!

2. Learn What Love Really Is

The best way to prepare for love is to learn about it, and the best way to learn about love is to learn about God—because God is love (1 John 4:8). A great starting point is 1 Corinthians 13, which describes the depth and nature of love. If you’re eager to go deeper, try searching for all the passages about love in the Bible and study them.

Beyond the Bible, I highly recommend reading The Meaning of Marriage by Pastor Tim Keller. This book offers a deep, mature understanding of marital love and how it reflects Christ’s relationship with His church. Marriage isn’t just about companionship—it’s a profound, God-designed covenant that takes serious preparation.

Preparing Yourself for the Future

Nothing you do will prepare you 100% for marriage—it is the hardest thing I have ever done. I understand why people get divorced, and I will never judge those who take that path. Marriage is serious, and it requires intentional preparation.

My husband has told me multiple times that while he was waiting for me, he focused on preparing himself—not just in character, but also financially, emotionally, and spiritually. That way, when God revealed the right person, he was ready. I deeply respect that about him. It makes me feel loved, knowing that he was intentional even before he met me.

Who Do You Want to Be?

So my closing question to you is this: Who do you want to be by the time you discover the person you are meant to share your life with? Describe the kind of person you aspire to be—not just in theory, but in practice. Because when the time comes, you want to be as prepared as possible.

Until then, embrace this season. Whether you’re single, dating, or healing from a past relationship, Valentine’s Day is an opportunity to focus on love—because God is love. Let Him shape your understanding of what true love is.

Sending you my love this Valentine’s season!

Wazzup! I love helping middle & high school students to find & fulfill their God-given mission by developing Christian leadership values & skills. I work with students in 2 ways to strengthen their ability to lead their lives: 1) a bi-monthly leadership Mastermind group on Zoom (16 sessions over 8 months), and 2) a monthly 1:1 mentorship program via Zoom (10 sessions from August-May). Both are for students who are actively expanding their capacity for godly influence. Email me to learn more about how I can serve & support you! I'd love to connect: [email protected] --Brenda